Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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