Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
