Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
