ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
