Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
