I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
