So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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