you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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