I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just found a bag of teeth...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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