Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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