i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize