google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she looked like the before picture.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
