So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
