if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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