Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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