Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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