People in love make me want to vomit
Quick, to the slutcave!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
