So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
