would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
