Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
