Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
