You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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