On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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