"it" just moved
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
