The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
