so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
