Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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