They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
