dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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