She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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