so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
