Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize