just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
