I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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