you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
