Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
