I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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