...so i touched it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
