its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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