i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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