Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
