oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
