Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
