drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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