she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
