I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
