Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
