I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
