I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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