I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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