god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
