I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
