dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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