physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
