eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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